Hello all fellow members of Pro-Life Singles.  As I write this, there are very few members, but I expect that won't last. 8-)  I'm going to put down my thoughts here, they are subject to change but heartfelt now.

I live in Vermont.  It's hard here on one of the front lines of the fight for Life.  Look up our statistics some time.  We are one of the "whitest" states, with the fewest church goers and a declining population.  We have Planned Parenthood deeply embedded in our schools, and politics - they are the only abortion providers instate and I believe the number of abortions has gone up since they got their monopoly.  

People here think that they want to help others and that they are in the vanguard of ("good") change.  We started the gay marriage business, and are constantly being pushed to make suicide, the Physician Assisted kind, legal.  As a state, yet one with a smaller population than some major cities, we can influence the whole country disproportionately.  I do what I can in the VRLC - google is your friend for acronyms - but there is much that you just can't say.  I come from a fairly liberal background and I can understand much of what motivates people here, even if I have moved away from that since I converted to Catholicism.  The biggest thing seems to be that we have a problem with our morals and understanding of our sexuality.  I keep hearing that people only object to abortion, to gay marriage and much more for "Religious reasons".  We also seem to think that there are waayyy too many of us on this earth.  I will grant to those who say such things - not believing that we are "in the womb" of a greater, eternal life - that pretty much everything goes if there is no eternity, no reckoning.  That said, there are arguments that can make some sense to all.

Strictly speaking, Gay Marriage is not a "Life Issue" but the argument against it should come out, and not surprisingly Does have to do with life.  To put it baldly (which I am anyway! 8-) we think of sex from an upside down perspective.  SEX IS FOR REPRODUCTION, FOR FAMILY!  Before you stop reading, No, I don't mean it isn't an expression of love between a man and a woman!  I DO mean that pregnancy and children are to be hopes in your minds, NOT FEARS!  Sex is for those who are willing, if God grants, to raise the children that they conceive!  Put it another way, both partners should be committed to raising offspring.   If you're thinking that means a child a year please Google "NFP" (Natural Family Planning).  We're talking self control and close spousal cooperation with NFP.  The fact that same sex couples could adopt children in my home state, made same sex unions possible.  The ability to do that was a simple extension of single people being able to adopt... 8-((  Back to the point though, conventional sexual morality comes directly from what I said above, with a few points that we have been forgetting.

Sex is not for those who aren't committed to raising possible offspring.  That means no sex outside of marriage.  No affairs, no living together, no accepting of, or seeking to have, sex when one party is clearly not committed.  Guess what?  Premarital sex correlates with increased risk of divorce!  Since you can't have children with partners of the same sex, that's out.   That means that homosexuality isn't a variation on normality, it is sadly, a currently incurable disease.  Don't get me wrong, most of the lesbians and gays that I know are good friends!  We are to love them, not hurt them, but not encourage them either.  Marriage when procreation isn't possible, due to age, I have to leave to those whose job it is to decide that.  I will learn the answer though, since the best match for me is probably a post menopausal woman.  

We have tried to deny that sex evolved for reproduction since contraception became common.  Thus we can't understand ourselves.  Why do men want attractive women?  It has to be an instinctive way of selecting a woman who is healthy and can bear their children.  Why do some women, conversely select abusers?  They are mistaking "uncaring" for confidence.  It's a huge over generalization sure, but please, tell your teen boys that girls want them to be confident and to have a plan for their life!  Fathers have to have the ability to support their wives and children when mothers are extremely busy with children, and NO, this doesn't let fathers off the hook for child or house care!!!

We have to realize a simple truth, that spousal love is more like parental love than we think.  We are supposed to care FOR each other!  Loving is self giving, not taking.  That fits in perfectly with hoping for children and NFP when you can't.  Raising children is probably the best "glue" for marriage, short of loving God.  I can't wait for the day when unloving parents will be rare!

The next step is to love all our brothers and sisters - all people around us.  That's another essay, but here is a hint:  I have never encountered stronger brotherly love than what I have experienced at the March for Life in Washington D.C. every year!